Rewind 24 hours….
This, my friends, is a true story. Met a buddy for a few brews at T Bonz. Lovely time overall.
Parked the FuXk Mobile up top to get some exposure at a busy intersection.
(Yes I know…I am a marketing whore. I can’t help it! I look for every chance to gain impressions whether that’s driving the FuXk Mobile, parking location, wearing a FuXk shirt on a daily basis, and giving out the popular FuXk koozie at bars).
It worked! Who walks in? Staci and Randy from Foreplay! They were there for other business but said they saw the FuXk Mobile! Cool!
Ran into my long, lost buddy Boo as well! Recounted some old times. Still vindictive though from when I left him a nasty voice mail 20 years ago about the Detroit Lions sucking! LOL! But back to the story.
So I got the tab and rolled out.
Walked the steps up towards car…and then…
“Hey Mister…I need to talk to you.”
Young man escorted by an older female.
Dude says “can you give me a ride down the road? My mom’s having chest pains and I need to get home.”
Lady: “I’m not comfortable driving him solo.”
Me: “In this day and age I don’t put people in my car I don’t know…but I’ll be happy to call and pay for an Uber.”
Lady: “God bless you” or something like that.
A few minutes later with Uber en route. I see the lady pull back up in her car. “I need to talk to you…no not you (dude)…him (me!)”
Lady: “Had to come back and tell you…I’m not sure you should do this…he’s not right…see that ambulance over there…well they called the cops to come get this guy.”
Me: “Say what!”
Dude: “Please Mr. just get me out of here…they’re going to lock me back up!”
Me: (inside voice “What da FuXk!”) – “I can’t do that.”
Cancel Uber. Dude walks away. Cop car rolls up.
Ambulance dudes get out and talk to cop.
I walk towards them and tell them what happened, what he said and that he went into the 7-11.
Ambulance dude: “Man he’s crazy…the dude jumped out of back of ambulance at the light.”
Me: “Holy sheep shit! Guess I can check this off my bucket list!”
Ambulance dude: “Me too!”
Got in my car. Watched the cops escort him across the parking lot back to the ambulance.
Dude starts ripping his t-shirt to shreds (fortunately it wasn’t a FuXk shirt but maybe it should have been! Could have been great exposure!).
Cops were cool. No physical issues. Handled it well. I drove off.
Assume the psycho was reinserted back into the ambulance.
Great “Googly Moogly!”
And that’s the truth.
Ding dong…pizza man just arrived…gotta go!